I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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