I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize