How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
