There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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