That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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