but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
