fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
