I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
