he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
