We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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