I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
