plz talk dirty to me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
