Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
