Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize