So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wakey wakey hands off snakey
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
