my sisters under your porch take her home
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
