It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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