I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
