and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
