so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
