I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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