why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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