is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
