my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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