just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
