Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
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