i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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