i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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