I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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