3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
