Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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