Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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