Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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