Sry I called you an 8
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
