i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
