White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
