I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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