I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
