There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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