he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
