is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
