how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
