Rock
Scissors
Fuck
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize