I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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