Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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