Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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