I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
