I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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