So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize