Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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