Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
