I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
