but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
