Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
