You're so nebulous sometimes
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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