He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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