I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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