hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
