By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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