Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
