Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
