when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
