Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
