This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
